


Coming out, CD 2 (REMIX)

by yesfir



Category: Homestuck
Genre: All around awkward, Awkward Kissing, Awkward Romance, Briefly alludes to PTSD, Coming Out, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mentions heteronormativity, Standard Karkat and Dave language warning?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 14:58:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15488469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yesfir/pseuds/yesfir
Summary: Take two of Dave trying to come out to John without a.) wild theories about gay voodoo, b.) Karkat having a meltdown. There’s also a flashback to two floundering guys on a meteor navigating their way to their first kiss.





	Coming out, CD 2 (REMIX)

**Author's Note:**

> I should probably be banned from writing Homestuck fanfic, considering it does nothing to curb my fondness for long, meandering paragraphs that never end. I did my best, however o/

Existing just about anywhere with functioning public places like malls and museums and bars and shit... it's still pretty fucking weird. The last time he can think of was hanging out on Derse and in the little consort communities, and both those places still had that "inside the game" kind of feeling about them. It wasn't "normal' - provided that you defined normal as everything that now felt weird an alien. Terrestrial, maybe? Shit, but that sounded like lame sci-fi jargon too.

Maybe at this point he could just stop giving a shit about that. Practically all of the last years had been lame sci-fi bullshit anyway, with some heavy-handed fantasy thrown in for good measure.

Not that it's all normal-normal the way he would've thought of it once. Even here in the human kingdom, there are troll menues at every restaurant, carapace corner stores, public ameneties adapted for consorts. It's a new kind of normal made out of the old and the new, like a... a quilt, maybe? Shit, he doesn't know about quilting, is that how it works? He'll have to ask Rose about it.

"You know, even when you're not saying anything out loud, it's really easy to tell when you're monologuing inside your head." John grins as Dave twitches slightly in response; it's a guilty reaction and they both know it, so Dave doesn't exactly bother denying it. He just raises an eyebrow slightly, shrugging.

"I know your family is practically famouns for talking corny, Egbert, but 'monologuing inside your head' is kind of a mouthful for something the rest of us just call 'thinking' most of the time, isn't it?"

John rolls his eyes. "Smartass."

"I'd like you to please respect _my_ family traditions in turn."

"Riiiiiiiight. And now I say something clever about you using the word 'mouthful', right? And then we both forget what we're talking about."

Dave snorts, weighing up the options of where to take this conversation. "Man, were we actually talking about anything?"

"...heh. I guess not."

They're quiet for a moment, watching the still pink horizon, where the stars are slowly becoming more visible as the last light of day fades. They're technically at a rooftop bar, though they'd climbed over the railings around the open-air seating area, to perch on some sort of narrow ledge with their legs dangling over the void. It's not like anything would actually happen if they fell, after all. And it's a pleasant, balmy evening, and getting away from all the noise and people right by the bar had seemed like a nice idea.

Now it suddely makes him think about sitting around on the edge of that roof with Dirk, waiting for English-Jack to turn up. He's not sure how to feel about that whole thing still, but he remembers the last part of the conversation they'd had - the part that hadn't _just_ been awkward or painful or both - and he supposes now is the time. If he actually managed to make himself ask Dirk how to do this, on top of all the other bullshit they'd dealt with that day, then he might as well try it. The worst that could happen, he supposes, is John just not getting it... _again_.

"Okay. _Okay_. Remember how we had that 'gay butterfly effect' conversation and how that's basically one of the most brilliant things you've said ever, but also that really wasn't the point I was trying to get across?"

He glances sideways at John, who unsurprisingly is blinking and looking a bit taken aback, but then nods hesitantly. "Yeah, we said we were going to get back to it, didn't we? Man, so much happened after that, I completely forgot." He laughs. "Mostly I just remembered Karkat throwing a funny tantrum. Classic."

Dave feels his lips twitch a bit too, because it had been some quality ridiculous shit, but he can't let himself be sidetracked. "Yeah he did. Remember why he did that? I mean, not saying he doesn't do that for basically no reason at times, but... there was a reason then. Kind of."

John frowns like the affable bubblehead that he is, and honestly thank god he's like that and not like Rose who remembers every little thing you ever said whether you want it or not, but it can be seriously frustrating at times too.

"Jegus. Okay, gonna speed this up through my rad Time player power of talking to you until you get it. You thought you'd 'turned me' gay through some voodoo with Terezi's plush toys while zapping around, as if a squishy dragon might hold some sort of power that a literal sea of puppet ass supposedly did not, and eventually stumbled on the idea that maybe I actually might have... I don't know, dated someone who wasn't a girl, and that's why I was saying all that stuff, which wasn't exactly it but... uh..."

"Ooooh, right! But apart from the Mayor, which-

“Don’t.”

“-I won’t, there were only two guys on that asteroid-"

"-and I'd beat myself to death with the nearest suitably phallic object before I ever groped the spongy crotch of the Codpiece Clown-"

"-right. And that only left one person. And then Karkat started screaming."

There's an awkward pause, which Dave spends hating himself for taking a totally transparent sip of his drink, as if anyone would actually believe that's the reason he's not saying anything. Like the unidentifiable, vivid green juice is just so captivating that he just has to take a break and taste the nectar once again. Even Egbert isn't that dense.

"So, uh. You and him... are you? I mean, he's not around to start screaming this time around, and... well, unless it's too private-"

"Dude. You're making this way more of a big deal than it has to be, damn."

"Right." He offers Dave a slightly sheepish grin. "So are you?"

"Yeah."

"...oh." Another unreasonably long pause. "So you did kind of turn-"

"Oh my fuck." Burying your face in your hands when you constantly wear shades is not the greatest move, but he'll just have to live with a blurry world right now. "Shit, I can't believe I have to spell this out. I was trying to tell you that I've always _been_... well, I don't know if 'gay' is necessarily right, I mean apparently I dated Terezi in that doomed timeline or something? And I guess I can see how that happened? And, I don't know, it's not like I've never ever been interested-"

"You think my mom - well, Jane - is hot. And Roxy. Even though you keep calling her mom."

"Yeah, that was definitely what was needed to make this conversation go full circle in terms of absolutely ridiculously embarrassing bullshit, so thank you. Yeah. That." He tries to use a corner of his cape to clean his shades, but it's not going great. He's just gonna have to take them off later. "So I guess 'bisexual' is more accurate? I don't know, it doesn't feel super important to try to sort out the minutiae, because right at the moment I guess the point is that I'm definitely not straight. And I mean also I'm dating an alien whose social ideas of gender don't even correspond to any of the shit we grew up with, and whose reproductive system and social norms regarding that are completely different too, and also those whole worlds are gone so I guess it doesn't really matter at all. But I guess it used to be a thing, back on our Earth, so... I'm telling you now."

There's silence as Dave looks down at his hands, pretty sure that he needs to shut up right now or just... dramatically jump from the building and go somewhere else for a while where no one can hear him ramble. Then he hears John scooting closer on the ledge, until he's so close that he's kind of leaning against Dave's arm. He kind of expects him to say 'no homo' or something as a joke, but he doesn't. He just sits there. Dave isn't quite sure what to do with it, because physical touch that wasn't a smackdown sure wasn't something he grew up with, and it's taken him quite some time to get used to it even from Karkat, who's still absolutely not comfortable with it when anyone else is around, so it's a much more private thing between them. But John... well, maybe it's just a part of growing up as a basically normal kid, with a father who gave him stern fatherly hair rufflings and shoved cakes in his face and what have you. He just casually touches people and holds their hands and slaps their backs completely unironically, and that's just how he is. So this is probably meant to be a comforting gesture, and he guesses that he'll take it in the spirit it was meant.

"So... how did that happen?"

"...What?"

"You and Karkat. How did it happen?"

Dave glances sideways at John, even though he doesn't actually need to, because he already knows the dork is waggling his eyebrows and wearing a shit-eating grin. "You look like you're about to launch into the entire 'wink-wink nudge-nudge' routine, completely shamelessly, on a planet where basically no one has even _heard_ about Monty Python and their delightfully British crap... And just so you know, if you do, I'm pretty certain that the powers that be will deem your death 'Just' no matter what I do. Fate is on my side."

"Like Monty Python would stop being funny just because the universe ended." John rolls his eyes. "But seriously, I'd like to know. I guess it's just not something I would ever have guessed at, it seems kind of random, so... I'd like to hear the story. Besides, that way I'll be able to make much funnier jokes whenever your wedding rolls around."

"Oh fuck no. No. we're not speculating over anyone's potential wedding right now. Fuck that. I refuse." He sighs. "So I guess if I tell you about it, you promise to not ever mention that again, and especially in front of Karkat? I'm begging you here, Egbert."

"For now at least." John grins, pulling his knees up to his chest. "Story time!"

"Okay, fine." He sighs, refusing to allow himself to fidget awkwardly, because damn it, he can at the very least hold on to that one shred of his supposed coolness, can't he? He doesn't have time for the identitiy crisis that would follow the loss of his trademark deadpan. He's a busy man. "Well, I guess you can imagine how it was on the meteor a bit, right? I mean, Rose and Kanaya are pretty much always in each other's business nowadays too, and that was right at the beginning of their relationship, right? The infatuation phase or whatever you call it. I'm trying to say that being around them just got kind of embarrassing after a while. Me and my Freudean issues aside, I'm not nearly messed up enough to enjoy the 'my sister and her alien girlfriend'-show."

John makes a face. "I suppose I can see how that would get weird pretty quickly. I mean, I tried to give Jade and, uh, Davesprite quite a lot of space too, in the timeline where that was a thing. And that was only partly because he could be such an ass."

"Exactly. It was best to let snarky broads lie." Thankfully John isn't him, and therefore doesn't make a terrible joke about that, and they can both move on with their lives. "And in the same vein, Terezi and Vriska were happily hanging out in their moirail-diamond, being crazy alien chicks and laughing loudly at shit a lot. Not really a zone any sane man would venture into for long. And Vriska kept the insane clown dickhead in firm check so he didn't bother us a lot."

"So that left you and Karkat and the Mayor, huh?"

"Yep. Man, at first that felt a bit weird. I mean, the Mayor is perfect in every way, of course, but Karkat... he'd mostly just been a ranting troll on the periphery of events for me. Since he didn't have as much of a hate-on for me as he did for you, or that grudging semi-crush he got on Jade, we hadn't really talked all that much." It's easy to recall the strange, kind of hesitant atmosphere on that meteor still, which really isn't strange because it wasn't such a long while ago since they got off it. It just feels like it.

"But at least he agreed like any at least moderately sane person that we couldn't have any better company than the Mayor, and he'd kind of already blown off most of his steam when it came to rage at events none of us really had that much control over. And, well, we had Can Town, we had chalks, we had computers and whatever else we could wish to alchemize, we had literally every shitty romcom in known history, and apart from that... we had a shitload of time."

"Heh, I know what that's like. I mean, except most the movies we had weren't shitty, they were awesome." John ignores the expression on Dave's face, frowning slightly. "It's a bit weird, isn't it? I mean, that both the asteroid and the ship ended up having to travel for three years, even though they were both traveling completely different routes through different kinds of space?"

Dave shrugs. "Eh. Probably just one of those weird narrative consequences that paradox space loves to slap us with. I guess it just wouldn't have been as neat if we arrived at the battle being all differnent ages or something. I mean, that would have felt kind of weird."

"Wow, now that you mention it... I guess it's just one of those things, huh?"

"Yep."

"So... You sat around watching romcoms together a lot? I guess that could sort of be like dates, right?"

"I mean, I guess? The way Karkat watches them, he's either going on long rants about troll romantic conventions versus how dumb he finds the human kind, or he's like... in actual tears or something, hanging on every word. It's pretty entertaining, even if those kind of movies aren't really my thing." He hesitates a moment, but shit, are they talking to each other about feelings or what? "It's also kind of... you know... endearing. Like that kind of thing really means a whole lot to him. He's just this huge-ass sappy romantic, just a perpetually loud and disgruntled one."

"I always thought that was kind of funny. Like how he has this whole tough guy schtick he does, and all of a sudden he's lecturing you on romance."

"Mm. Maybe it wasn't really thought of as 'sentimental' or 'soft' in that way in troll society? Or maybe it was, and he's just not all that self-aware. I mean, wouldn't be the first time." Dave smiles faintly, fondly, tilting his head back to watch the city lights play across a couple of drifting clouds. "But... I mean, if you're not Karkat, you can only watch so many of those movies before they start to turn into this overwrought, slapsticky blur. So I'd usually nod off after a while. And this one time... I kind of fell asleep while leaning on him, I guess? And ended up sleeping in his lap."

John clutching his cheeks now, watching him with wide eyes, looking positively enchanted. Not for the first time, Dave wonders what the fuck he'd ever done to deserve such dorky, ridiculous friends. Whatever it is, it must've been pretty incredibly great.

"Anyway, I guess he didn't want to move me and wake me up, so he ended up kind of passing out draped over my back, probably leaving his weird red troll drool all over my sweet hoodie."

"Eww. Lucky they don't get dirty, right? And I guess that yours is red anyway, so it wouldn't really show."

"Right. So we woke up like that, and we both kind of knew that it was this... this _thing_ that had happened between us that wasn't strictly just a friend kind of thing? I mean, friends can pass out on each other too, but... it wasn't like that, and we both knew. I'm pretty sure that dude has like the worst poker face in all of paradox space, so I could tell he was flustered about it. And maybe I'm a lot better at having my feelings and my inscrutable face on lock, but like, I wasn't going to leave him hanging and just wondering what that had been and if I had noticed too, you know? That would've been a dick move."

"You know... I guess that’s actually kind of cute."

"Fuck no, it was awkward as shit. It was like every YA novel and every high school movie rolled into this fumbling, mumbling, bullshit parade of embarrassing moments. Especially since I was just starting to figure out where I stood on the whole 'not straight' thing, and he's... he's Karkat, and he already thinks in cliches as it is. So we sat there like two pathetic, unconvincing archetypes working our way through the same kind of bland-ass script that kept unfolding in front of us every day. Shit, he even did the whole 'pretend to yawn and drape arm around' thing once. I'm honestly relieved everyone else was so busy with their own shit, or someone would probably have snapped and tried to make us get to the point, and by someone I probably mean Vriska. So I guess it could've been worse."

"Yikes! I'm glad that didn't happen. I mean, I don't think anyone deserves that in the middle of their budding romance."

Dave thinks about Rose with a glass of booze in her hand then, and how Vriska had slapped it to the floor and trod the shards of glass into the carpet right before Kanaya had entered the room. "I dunno. I mean, she can actually be surprisingly good at helping those who need it with that sort of thing. But me and Karkat... we were working it out. It was just that we apparently needed to make previously unpresidented fools of ourselves in the process, I guess. And in the end..."

***

There are some places on the roof of the whole meteor complex that they avoid, for obvious reasons. The blood hasn't quite scrubbed out of the concrete or whatever it is, leaving rather unfortunately jaunty-looking, colorful smears, like some especially morbid toddlers had decided to finger paint parts of the floor in fanciful shades of carnage. But they'd gone up nevertheless, ostensibly to keep an eye out for dream bubbles, but really mostly because the wealth of entertainment available to them on this the meteor express had a tendency of periodically wearing pretty thin. You ended up with a desperate need to break the monotony somehow, and going for a rambling stroll was as good a method as any.

There aren’t any bubbles currently ahead of them that they seem likely to collide with, though a few are still visible at a distance, drifting eerily through the void. They’d brought some snacks with them, and sitting there next to each other gives Dave the absurd sense that they’re having a picnic. Maybe next time he ought to bring tea, maybe alchemize a basket and some oldtimey clothes for those not already blessed with a renfaire god pajama. Shit, Rose and Kanaya would probably have a blast with that. Nerds.

He can tell that Karkat keeps darting sideways glances at him. It would honestly be hard not to notice, because discretion is just not a vital part of that guy’s skill set. He’s not sure what exactly to do about it, though. In the movies he’d probably accidentally-on-purpose catch his gaze, and they’d end up staring deeply into each other’s eyes. But that’s kind of hard to do while wearing shades, and he’s absolutely not going to take them off.

At least... not yet.

So instead he ends up looking around into the void, watching the surface of the dream bubbles shifting from one distorted image to the next as the dreams inside collide and mix with each other. Trying to find something to talk about which hopefully won’t lead him to fall ass-first into some inescapable and probably inappropriate confession. He’s-

_Something touches his neck._

Dave tenses, actively fighting against the immediate flight response, because something sneaking up from behind him means that he’s due to have his ass handed to him by his bro and his creepy goddamn puppet again, but trying to run away _only makes it worse_ and...

And he’s on the meteor. Far away from earth. His bro is dead. Karkat is sitting next to him with his hand outstretched, his fingertips still resting against the back of his neck, but he appears to have frozen up too. A look that is half defiant and half crestfallen absolutely fails to be hidden behind his perpetual scowl.

“Sorry.” His voice is so much quieter than normal, it almost makes Dave jump when he speaks again at his usual volume. “Just tell me and I’ll back off already.”

“Nah. It’s cool.” He reminds himself how to breathe properly again. “Just- Just give a guy a warning next time, okay?”

Karkat doesn’t ask why, perhaps he has his own nightmares to deal with, and after a moment or two his hand starts moving again. Troll nails appear to be a little bit thicker and harder than the human equivalent, sort of similar to to their horns in a way. The dull scrape of them against his skin and the way he brushes his fingertips across the hairs at the nape of his neck is soothing, and after a moment of hesitation, Dave crosses his arms on top of his knees and allows his head to drop forward onto them. Maybe this is like troll flirting 101, or maybe Karkat is just being kind of weird and awkward, but either way he doesn’t really mind.

Slow minutes pass like that, comfortable and tense all at once, until Karkat breaks the silence.

“Okay. I think there’s something we both know needs to get aired out properly, and definitely something I need to get off my sponge, before I keep making a complete ass of myself for no good reason. I know that’s been my primary occupation for the span of both your and my entire pathetic existence, but if there is any vestige of my dignity left for me to still kick the shit out of, I’d like to preserve it as a rare and precious fucking gift for as long as possible.”

Here it comes. Dave isn’t sure whether to be relieved or cringe, and settles for raising his eyebrows instead. “You’ve got such a poetic way with words, man. But sure, go on.”

“Right.” He appears stumped for a moment, cheeks darkening slightly, but then plunges on. “John said something really mindcrushingly stupid once about how- how humans think that guys liking guys and girls liking girls is this whole thing, as if that’s not just the most normal fucking thing in the world. Is that really true? Please tell me it’s not true, I think that would make me dumber just hearing it.”

Not exactly the direction Dave had expected, but it’s not completely out of left field either. “Yeah, it’s kind of true. Trolls don’t have that, right?”

“Well, of course we don’t! What kind of lobotomized nooksniffer would come up with something like that? I mean, sure, some people have preferences for certain quadrants, but that’s really not the same thing.” The fingers resting against Dave’s neck curl into a fist. “So humans are basically just one or the other? Either they like guys or they like girls and that’s it? Gog, that’s revoltingly stupid.”

“What? No. No, man, what the hell? Is that what John said?”

“Well, that’s sure as fuck what it sounded like.”

“Okay, well, it’s wrong. Either you misinterpreted what he said, or Egbert was being obtuse with how he was expressing himself.”

“I think we both know the answer there.”

Dave is fairly certain that the answer might just be both, but he won’t argue about that right now. “It’s actually like... some people are gay, so they only like the same gender. Some are bi, so they like both.”

“You mean like actual normal people?”

“Well, normal for trolls, anyway. And the rest are straight and only like the opposite. On Earth, that was kind of the majority, or at least what people considered more ‘normal’ there.”

“They were?” And then, quieter: “Shit.”  
  
Dave isn’t sure how to respond to that, how to start explaining that no, he didn’t mean... He doesn’t get a chance to either, because Karkat retracts his hand and starts speaking again, staring fixedly down into his lap.

“Well, I don’t know in what kind of ass-backwards way humans did these things back on Earth, but maybe you should consider that perhaps aliens might have a completely different culture, Dave? I mean, maybe this is all just a misunderstanding because we’re both insensitive assholes who don’t actually know as much about each other as we thought, blundering about and sending all kinds of messed-up signals in our infinite stupidity, and maybe I should stop reading so much into things that probably don’t actually mean shit just because I’m such a vomit-inducing, unpitiable sack of sadness and shame. But there are some things that it’s not actually completely fucking unreasonable to construe as- to think that it means that-“

Shit, there are actually tears in his eyes. He stops mid-tirade to draw a harsh breath, rubbing at one eye in an unconvincing attempt to make it look like he just got something stuck there, and that’s why there’s pale red liquid clinging to his eyelashes. His expression tightens when he sees Dave staring at him like a slack-jawed idiot, and as he draws breath for another tirade, Dave knows that he has to stop him. Before they’re both too defensive and/or hurt and/or mortified to actually have a proper conversation, he has to stop him.

“Dude. Just... shut up and listen for a moment, will you?”

“What?!” Karkat snaps, loud enough to echo off the vast stretch of concrete behind them, before being sucked into and swallowed by the void that surrounds them. “If you’re about to tell me you’re sorry, then just do us both a huge gogdamn favor and save your breath, because I _really don’t want to hear it_ , and it’s not like you really have anything to be sorry for, I guess, other than maybe being culturally insensi-”

“No, I said shut up. Damn. Let me actually talk.” He rolls his eyes, not that Karkat can see that, but he deflates a bit even so.

“Fuck. Sorry. You’re right.”

“It’s okay. But seriously... did you actually hear me saying that _I’m_ straight?”

Karkat blinks, and it’s almost comically obvious from the way his lips move that he’s going over the previous conversation in his head, trying to find the rejection he’d been so sure was there. Then a strange mix of caution and hope bleed into his gaze, making his expression more vulnerable than anything Dave thinks he’s ever seen before. “So... are you?”

There it is. Time to bite the proverbial bullet. Time to say out loud what he’s already been wrestling with himself over, only to end up in a finger lock. Time to actually admit it out loud to himself, because it’s not just about him anymore. “No. I’m not.”

“Oh.” Karkat fidgets a bit, clearly not sure where to look, and this time his cheeks darken enough that you can actually see the red under the grey. “So is there a point we’re actually getting at here? What are you saying, exactly?”

Dave knows himself well enough to be aware that he can’t give himself any time to second guess what he’s doing. So he leans in, placing his hands over Karkat’s to stop the fidgeting. “What I’m saying is that whatever the opposite of straight is, that’s where I am right now. I’m not talking about gay or bi, I’m talking about some sort of hitherto undiscovered bastion of not-goddamn-straight, like this new transcendental philosophy that is entirely based around how okay I am with the idea of locking lips with dudes. If straightness is the handle, it’s not even accurate to say I’ve done a fabulously acrobatic flip off it into the eternity of manly ass-worship beyond, because I’ve never even _touched_ that handle in the first place. That’s what I’m saying.”

“Uh, Dave? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Look, you didn’t let me finish, and that’s something we’re gonna have to work on I guess, because what I’m _saying_ is...” A deep breath, which does nothing to calm his racing heart. “I’m really goddamn into you. Flushed-ways. Red. Hearts. Whichever way you’d like me to put that to fit it into your quadrants.”

Karkat’s mouth opens, but nothing comes out except for a shaky exhalation. His weird black alien lips tremble slightly, and it’s not even the first time that Dave wonders what they’d feel like. Well, here goes nothing. Time to make an ass of himself if he against all odds misread the situation. It only seems fair.

It’s a good kiss. Well, it’s awkward and kind of fumbling, because Dave sure as fuck doesn’t know what he’s doing, and it doesn’t seem like Karkat has that much experience either. Still good, though. At first their lips just kind of slide against each other, both a bit chapped because the air on the meteor has close to negative humidity at all times. Then the tip of Karkat’s tongue slides clumsily against his lower lip, and Dave hears himself making an altogether embarrassing little noise in response, but really it doesn’t bother him that much. Especially when their lips part so effortlessly against each other a moment later, melting together softly and sweetly, and Dave forgets just about everything for a little while.

The kisses just keep getting better, and they have nothing but time.

***

“So you really want to do this? I don’t want to harp on or anything, but this is- it’s kind of a big deal to me.”

Dave snorts softly, nudging Karkat with his foot. “You implying I was taking those quality make-outs lightly, or that I wasn’t serious as a particularly fatal heart attack about everything I said before that?”

“Well. No. I don’t know. It’s just that humans don’t do quadrants and I’m-“

“Borderline obsessive about quadrants? Yeah, I know.”

Karkat glares. “Fuck you. Will you listen up and appreciate the gravity of what I’m telling you?” He scoots a bit closer, flopping down on Dave’s chest and giving him a very serious look, frowning as if he’s trying to solve an equation. “I wouldn’t just want anyone as a matesprit - I’ve never actually had one before. No smart remarks, numbbulge.”

Leveling his most deadpan look at Karkat, Dave just replies, “I guess I won’t pretend to be shocked then.”

That earns him a sharp jab in the ribs, even though Karkat doesn’t move from where he is. “What I’m trying to tell you, if you could stop being such a fuckass for two seconds, is that you’re special. I don’t think I can get your shit-clogged thinkpan to grasp how lucky you are, but at least I want you to think this is special too. That’s all.”

He has no idea what to say to that, but he can tell that another smart answer would be going too far. He’d actually upset Karkat then, and that’s not something he wants to repeat in a hurry. So he reaches up and runs his hand through Karkat’s fluffy, strangely textured hair, which kind of reminds him a bit of petting a moth or fuzzy caterpillar.

“Look, this is a pretty small meteor with an even smaller population on it by now, and you’re one of my best bros in all the universes that are relevant to this discussion.” Grabbing a nubby horn in each hand, he gently bumps their foreheads together. “So what I’m asking you is this: Do I look like the kind of idiot that would mess all that up and make shit miserable for everyone by kissing you if I didn’t mean it?”

Karkat squints at him from a fraction of an inch away, Dave’s shades apparently digging into his nose, and then reaches up with an annoyed huff and removes them. Dave lets it happen, meets his gaze, and finds it surprisingly easy. Karkat glares some more, and then abruptly nods, burying his face against Dave’s neck.

“Fine. Then we’re matesprits. Don’t fuck this up, Strider.”

“Okay.”

***

John gets a somewhat revised version of the story, because it doesn’t feel all that necessary for him to hear every awkward detail of it. It’s not exactly possible to extricate the main elements of teenage insecurities and alien cultural misunderstandings from it, so it’s still pretty embarrassing, but not nearly as cringeworthy as if Dave included his entire inner monologue, for example. Sometimes you just have to spare a bro.

“Man, I’m sorry I gave him that impression of, you know, stuff.” John waves a hand airily. “I guess I didn’t think that it would be relevant so soon, and I could never have guessed that it would end up upsetting him that much.”

“Yeah, well, now I actually know the context, I guess I can’t blame you that much.” Dave shrugs, sipping his mystery drink. “I mean, I can see why Karkat angrily hate-flirting with you didn’t make you want to dive headfirst into an in-depth discussion of human sexuality.”

John grimaces slightly, then grins. “It was a bit weird but mostly kind of funny, honestly. But no, it didn’t feel really important to explain all that to him. Especially since I was just about to scratch the game and stuff, and it was the first time he was talking to me, so I knew he was just gonna go backwards from that point anyway.”

“Right. The backwards trolling.” An exasperated little noise. “Man, that will never stop being funny, in the dumbest way possible. Or vice versa.”

“So you think you’ll be staying together? I mean, I hope you are. It would be kind of sad otherwise.”

“What? Yeah, we’re- we’re good. Dunno what the future will be like exactly, what with trolls caring so much about their quadrants and all, but... we’ll figure it out. After all the shit we’ve been through, I think we’ll be okay.” A beat. “And I know this is probably embarrassing to hear, but tonight is when I lay down all my feelings, so... I really kind of fucking love him.”

“Awwww.”

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s completely, sponge-bendingly embarrassing, and I hope you’re proud of yourself. And shut up about it, John.”

“Oh. Hehe. Hi, Karkat.”

Dave tilts his head back until he can meet the gaze of the troll leaning on the railing right behind him.

“I mean, the point of telling John when you weren’t around was that you wouldn’t have to freak out about it like before.”

“Who said I was going to, huh? Insufferable prick.”

“I dunno, but if you were to have histrionics and dangle yourself off this building, you could actually really hurt yourself.”

“I bet you could save him if he fell, Dave.” John sniggers, doing the exaggerated eyebrow wiggling thing again. “Princess carry him like he’s Lois Lane and you’re Superman.”

“Cheesy, Egbert... but pretty tempting for ironic purposes.”

“You can both fuck off, you festering smears of behemoth leavings.”

The insult is almost casual, though, and after a moment of hesitation, Karkat leans over the railing and runs his knuckles gently along Dave’s cheek. He leans into the gesture, and it all feels a bit stilted with John watching, but it’s alright. It’s nice, really.

John nudges his shoulder with his. “Gaaay.”

He’s smiling hugely, and despite himself, Dave finds the corners of his own mouth lifting in response. He leans back against the railing, lifting one hand to interlace his fingers with Karkat’s.

“Pretty fucking much, yeah.”

 


End file.
